The Six Month "No"

We live in a very fast paced world with endless options.  There are things we have to do, things we think we have to do, things we want to do, and things that we do without much reason.  It's easy to fill our time. 

I grew up in this world and am a product of it.  Up until a couple of years ago I kept myself super busy all the time.  As a youth, I filled my days with activities so that I was rarely home, even on the weekends.  As a young adult I had little spare time, and as a young mother I kept myself and my babies hopping.  

Then about two years ago we unintentionally cleared our schedule.  Initially it was the result of a move outside of town where most things just needed to be dropped.  Then just a couple of months later I found our schedule 100% cleared because we'd moved to another part of the country.  We were in a place where we didn't know anybody yet, we didn't have callings yet, and we had no extra commitments.  A couple of months later I started recognizing how nice it was to have so little on our schedule.

In one of my TJEd books, the DeMille family (who developed TJEd) share several 'ingredients' that have benefitted their family.  These aren't the things that make TJEd, but rather an idea list of things that have been helpful to them on their journey.  We've adopted some of their ideas, and others haven't concerned ourselves with.  It has been a helpful list. 

One of their 'ingredients' is The Six Month "No".  In this little section they explain how every six months their family crosses things off of their schedule.  This allows them to make time for priorities, and especially allows the mother to be a better spouse, parent, and mentor. 

I'd read about this before we unintentionally did it, and thought it sounded like a good idea, but really didn't recognize how wonderful it would be.  I suppose it was one of those things that I had to experience in order to appreciate.  Over the last two years I've come to relish this little ingredient.  We don't do it on a six month schedule necessarily, but have become more constantly aware of how our time is being used, and throw things out as we find the need. 

I ask myself a few questions:  Do our days or evenings feel stressed?  Am I finding time to enjoy my children?  How much quality time are we having as a family?  Do I regularly have time for priorities?The answers to these questions are my guide.

Our most recent "no" led me to cancel my YMCA membership.  I'd had a Y membership for three years, and loved getting the exercise, but was finding that it was using too much morning time.  I still needed my workouts, so we bought an elliptical machine for our basement.  My workout time remained the same, but I gained about an hour (more sometimes) each day owing to the fact that I no longer had to spend any time driving, and I didn't have to get anyone dressed and fed before I could think about working out.  Now the kids can leisurely eat and dress while I exercise.  Another big gain with this change (and my favorite) was our morning snuggle time.  We can snuggle for an hour or two, I can exercise, and we can all take our time getting dressed, and we'll still be ready for kidschool earlier than when I was going to the Y!  Yeah!  The last gain from this change is that I stopped feeling rushed during certain hours of the morning.

We still have things on our schedule.  We both have church callings that take up time every week.  I teach piano lessons one night a week.  We have appointments for various things, and we occasionally schedule extra activities for our children.  Most often this is plenty!

Lately our easy schedule has been a blessing on the days that I haven't felt well. I've woken up sick a lot of mornings and thought, "Oh good. We don't have to go anywhere today," and then spent most of the day in pajamas cuddling and reading to my kids.

I've been pondering a lot about what a blessing keeping our schedule relatively clear has been.  Today, for example, I reaped the benefits.  We didn't have to go anywhere and I was feeling unusually well (considering I'm pregnant).  As a result, I had time and energy to do several 'extra' things today (like blog posting) in addition to great kidschool time, being a mother, and caring for our home.  The best part is that our whole day was easy paced (this is very different that lazy), no stress, and I thoroughly enjoyed being with my children.  I'm looking forward to a slow evening.

A lot of our days are like this and I love it.  I very clearly remember what it was like to be fast paced and super scheduled all the time.  I wasn't unhappy at all, but I realize now how much more I enjoy life at a slower pace.  I can honestly say that happy as I was (for I've always been a rather happy individual) I am even happier now and this has contributed. 

I am enjoying my family so much because I have the time to sit back and enjoy them.  The kids and I very rarely rush through daily tasks anymore because we don't have too.  I am a better wife and mother when I'm not rushed and crazy exhausted from running all day.  I can see my priorities better and make time for them.  I can accept opportunities to serve with gladness even more.  I can have an unexpected visit with a friend without taking away from the time my family needs me and the things we need to accomplish.  The best part, though, is the time with my family.  These children are growing up so fast, and I am relishing my hours with them every day.


          

Happy Highlights

I have some happy highlights from the past week or so to share.

 

One was a very successful math activity.  Logan is really good at adding and subtracting large numbers, and he multiplies small ones.  Annie is good at adding and subtracting small numbers.  They haven't had a lot of practice with word problems, so I thought I'd see how they did with some.  These were custom made, though.  I gave them a scenario: You are Christmas shopping and have X amount of money.  Then I let them choose what gifts they were going to buy for each family member and we attached a price tag for each item.  They were adding up costs and subtracting them from their money.  Then they had to figure out what they still had enough to buy.  I also had Logan multiplying because he also was buying the same gift for several people.  It was several problems in one, and we 'went shopping' several times with the same scenario for half an hour.  They thought it was super fun!  We moved onto a second scenario: space.  We made some creative situations involving how much farther the space shuttle had to go to get to the moon, and distances ground workers had to travel to get to a landed shuttle, etc.  They sure were excited to solve problems that they found interesting.

 

Another happy moment happens whenever we have a library day.  The library trip itself is fantastic because we find dozens of books to use for the coming week or two and I spend a long time reading to the kids while we're there.  Once we get home from the library, the kids can't wait to go through the books and they generally spend the rest of the day looking through them.

 

This is what our living room looks like on a library day.   

I was able to get a really nice nap this particular afternoon while they quietly filled their minds.

This picture isn't really one of the moments I wanted to highlight because I meant to include it in my post on parenting.  This is what they were doing while I was writing that post.  I snapped a picture because I found it ironic that they were doing this dangerous stunt while I was writing about parenting.  (I also redirected this to greater safety...)

Yesterday we had an unhappy moment that resulted in a positive one.  We'd had a busy morning that involved a long doctor's appointment and grocery shopping.  When we arrived home we had a car to unload, a very messy house, a sick mom, and bickering cranky children.  It was one of those intense, unpleasant moments in parenthood, especially because I didn't feel well.  Thanks to our system (mentioned in my previous post) I was prepared to handle the needed discipline.  The kids had earned several chores during the course of a short time, so they were set to work.  I worked on settling my stomach and putting away the groceries.  Because they'd earned so many chores, our house was 100% straightened by the time they were done, and they were feeling better because they'd worked hard.  This was my math: 1 busy morning=chaos (people and environment), chaos=naughty children, naughty children=extra chores, extra chores + naughty children=order and peace (cancelling out the chaos)  YES!

Today I have a couple of moments to share.  Annie has been really excited about reading this week and is making steady progress.  We had reading time as usual this morning and then set about a normal day.  This afternoon during down time, Annie begged me to help her read a book, and she did great!  I am so excited that she wants to read.  Teaching her has been much easier than teaching Logan because she doesn't have the anxiety getting in her way.

The second moment today was also Annie's doing.  She decided to unload the dishwasher for me just because she wanted to be helpful.  This is not an easy task for a child that can't reach any of the cupboards.  I snapped this picture as she was working (she also washed the counter).

Parenting

When I started this blog, I intended it to be a record of our learning, and that will account for what may seem a random bouncing around of subjects.  I find this a place to record all sorts of things I'm learning, and to reflect on past lessons.  Our family blog is much lighter.  That being said, my itch to record today's thoughts maybe won't seem so out of place.  :)

I rarely thought about parenting as a child/ youth.  In fact, I only remember one time distinctly thinking about it.  I thought it was too hard to do the dishes I'd been assigned and I promised myself that, "I will never make my children do dishes!"  At least my thoughts toward my future children were aimed (though incorrect) at loving them.

As a freshman in college, I rather suddenly had the natural desire to become a wife and a mother, and I wanted to be a good wife and mother.  So I started paying attention to anything that was said on the subject, and over the course of my college years even sought out direction on the matter so I could be prepared.  I am very grateful for the inspired words of our church leaders in this direction.  I really think I was as prepared as I could be when I finally met and married Jim.  Not that I was a perfect wife or am one now, but I feel my preparation was fairly complete.

We eagerly brought children into the world.  Actually, we are still eagerly bringing children into our family.  :)  We were pretty typical first time parents when Logan was born.  Logan was held ALL THE TIME.  It somehow seemed wrong to put him on the floor.  I JUMPED whenever he let out the littlest whimper.  I felt guilty when we moved him out of our room into his own ONE WALL AWAY because I'm such a light sleeper and I couldn't rest with a baby that near me.  He was always perfectly clean and fully dressed.  I didn't dare take him near other kids if he had a slightly runny nose.  His sleeping and eating schedule was of utmost importance; dare anyone to tamper with that and I'd be upset.  I followed him anywhere he went once he was mobile; letting him be alone in a different room was unthinkable.  I entertained him every moment he was awake, and felt guilty if ever I snatched 30 min. for something I wanted to do.  He was coddled in every way imaginable.  We created a very demanding child!  He knew we loved him, though, and we expressed our love in the best way we knew how at the time. 

I now lovingly call this 'first time parent syndrome' because I'd never do it that way again, but then again I know it was important for us at the time.  It really is a great indicator of a parent putting their whole heart into the job.  So my saying I'd never do it that way again is definitely NOT a criticism for anyone who does it that way.  In fact, when I see a parent doing the things I did with Logan during that stage, I recognize a great love.

When Annie came along, or rather when I was very sick with that pregnancy, I suddenly couldn't give Logan my undivided attention 100% of the time.  I'm grateful we established our family standard for media well before we had children, because I probably would have been tempted to turn on movies for him a lot during this period.  I was still in the mode of 'I need to keep my child entertained'.  Anyway, I needed to be horizontal a lot for a few months in order to maintain a reasonable internal state, so Logan learned to play without me.  That was enlightening and liberating.  I realized that he could entertain himself.  Wow!  That made the whole pregnancy (and moving during the middle of it) a lot easier.  He still had tons of my attention, though, which was very appropriate. 

Along came Annie and she had a very different babyhood than Logan.  She was held a lot it's true (all babies should be in my opinion), and we maintained a pretty regular schedule (though I no longer freaked out if it was upset), but she didn't have 100% of Momma, and I didn't worry about entertaining her all the time.  It wasn't an option, and I think she learned to be more independent sooner than Logan did as a result.  I'd learned it was better not to jump at the first hint of a whimper, or immediately when she stumbled because she learned to not worry about things as much and it gave her the chance to decide if the incident was truly upsetting or not.  Of course, I'd answer her cries when she needed me, especially as a newborn.  But when she accidentally plopped on her bum when she was learning to stand, I gave her the chance to decide if it was worth crying over before coming to console her.  We'd taught Logan to cry over things like that because we immediately ran to his aid.  He always got the message, "This is something to be upset about."  He was definitely our baby who cried most frequently.

I'd have to say that Logan's and Annie's toddlerhood was my height of feeling like a fabulous parent.  Life was extremely simple, their needs were easily met, and they weren't old enough to cause any real mischief.  Not to mention, they hadn't fully entered into the time period of really learning right and wrong.  We played, read, and had a balance where they also entertained themselves while I did other worthwhile things.  They were happy, Jim and I were happy, life was peaceful and calm.  Our house was always clean, and I put my energy into my family.  I felt like I had the parent thing down.  I could have been accused of feeling like super-mom a lot.

I'm grateful for that time because it taught me what parenthood can feel like and should feel like.  So even though our dynamics have shifted, and I have days where I feel like a lousy mom, I always know what feeling I'm aiming for.  That time period also gave me great confidence to forge the years ahead.  I was always nervous about raising older children.  I could tell that was going to be more complicated.

When Alex was born we had a few more months of this calm period.  Alex's newborn stage was similar to Annie's except that he didn't like to be held a lot.  From day one he would fuss until we set him on the floor.  He even liked the floor during sacrament meeting!  He's always liked his own space, and that proved to be a great blessing while he was very little.

We entered into a time period that was very stressful for Jim and I, and that required me to take a lot of time away from my children.  I honestly felt like I wasn't able to be a mother during about two months of this time.  Because Alex was so content to lay or sit on the floor, he handled this amazingly well.  Annie and Logan were great at entertaining themselves by this time, and that made it so they handled it well too.  At this time, though, we had little clue about teaching our children to make good choices, and even less of a clue about appropriate consequences for poor behavior.  That (and Logan's anxiety) was our big parenting struggle during this time period, and one which got worse before it improved.

The biggest struggle at this time, though, was a personal one.  I was truly depressed and longer than just a few days.  I'd never experienced that in my life and I recognized it was my own doing.  We'd gone through some things that were difficult and I hadn't been as Christ-like as I could have been for a period of some months.  I know for a certainty that this was the reason I was feeling that way.  I experienced what it was like to lose motivation, energy, and good desire.  I knew that I couldn't let it last.  I couldn't be a good wife or mother if I allowed myself to feel that way.  Further I knew what it felt like to be motivated, happy, content, and peaceful.  I wanted the old feeling back and I knew it was possible.  Depression doesn't subside in a day, nor does adversity, so I faced a few more months before I felt better and felt I could again be the type of mother I wanted to be. 

Around the time Alex turned one and Annie turned three, I was happier and able to focus on new parenting challenges.  One challenge was having an almost school age child; Logan was four and a half.  Because we were planning to homeschool, I started implementing kidschool and finding my way into a good groove.  Another challenge was helping Logan with his anxiety day in and day out.  He needed me to talk him through life because everything was incredibly stressful for him.  That took a lot of time every day, and accounts for the reason Logan still received way more attention than his siblings up until recently.  (It's much more evenly split now.)  Our third challenge was and still is teaching children to make good choices and be accountable for them. 

So when the kids were 1, 3, and 4, we had recently read a book called A House United, Teaching Self Government by Nicholeen Peck.  The main idea was that it is important for children to grow up understanding their agency or ability to choose, that their own positive choices will mean positive consequences, and their own negative choices will mean negative consequences.  If children are able to really understand this, they will be enabled to self-govern, and are much more likely to make good choices.  The lady who wrote the book went on to explain how her family has successfully done this with their own children and with many foster children.  We were inspired.  So many of her words rang true to us, and we decided to try her system.

It's taken some time, especially because we are far from perfect and therefore not always consistent, but I can see how that blessed our family.  The kids know what to expect for good and bad behavior and we've been able to watch them consciously think through their actions as a result.  We use time-out now as a place to calm down or rethink things rather than a punishment and it works amazingly well.  They earn extra chores for bad behavior.  This is consistent (mostly) and it not only helps the kids, but it helps us react better because we already have a plan!  Even Alex responds well to this.

Today I was reading some questions posed by mothers of two and three year olds who couldn't wrap their minds around teaching these little ones choices and consequences.  Of course it made me think about my two year old (and was really what got me thinking about my parenting experience) and the success I feel we've had with him.  The funny thing is that we hadn't consciously taught him; it had been carry over from using this system with our older kids.  From the time he was one and crawling, he was sent to his room for time out in order to calm down rather than as punishment as we did with the other two.  After a short time with this, he started taking himself to time out.  It was actually very amusing to watch our crying baby crawl into his room, cry for a minute, and then come out calm.  He'd even do it (still will) in other people's homes.  We recognized, however, that he had quickly learned this was a way to happiness!  That's why he was taking himself in there.  He still puts himself in time out when he's upset sometimes, and he always uses it at a place to calm down when we send him there.  He actually really likes that time in his room; when he's having a particularly bad day he will stay in there for a long time, not because he's crying, but because he really is collecting himself.  He's always happier when he decides to come out.  It has made a lot of happiness in our home.  Gone are the days where a child cries and cries (for now...)!  He is by far our least whiny toddler, and I think this is why.  His personality certainly doesn't indicate it. 

As Alex has gotten older and decided to hit or kick out of anger he's been sent to time out until, "You're ready to be a nice boy."  That's mostly all we say to him at this point, but we can see that he thinks it through when he's in there because he always modifies his behavior when he chooses to come out.  He doesn't earn extra chores yet because we don't feel he's quite old enough for that.  He sees his siblings, though, so I have no doubt he'll understand it when he's ready.  So at this point his consequences are having to think it over and seeing that he made someone sad.  It really seems to be enough.

This is a work in progress.  This was a great answer for a struggle our family was having, and no doubt we will continue to change, and struggle as new challenges arise.  I hope we get better and better at this parenting thing.  Everyone says, "Wait until you have a teenager."  I'm waiting, VERY PATIENTLY.  :)  One day at a time is something I am very grateful for. 

I have plenty of 'lousy mom' days, but I'm an optimist and can't help but look at my children and our life that way.  I know they aren't perfect, and I know that I'm even farther from being perfect.  When they were babies, I couldn't imagine losing my temper with them or being unkind to them in any way.  I now know that parenting is hard!  It's amazing to me that I used a self-help book in my parenting, but our family needed it!  (If you know my stubborn know-it-all personality that will make sense.)  

Probably the greatest lesson I've experienced as a parent is one I knew beforehand.  Love and living the gospel to the best of my ability are what makes a happy family.  I had a lot of faith before marrying that if I did my best every day to live what I knew to be true, and I loved my spouse and children, that the Lord would guide me in the challenges ahead.  That has been entirely true, right down to placing a self help book in my path (which I never would have read had it not been for a book group), and helping me recognize when I needed to make personal changes so I could receive inspiration.  It was what enabled us to recognize a very great struggle in our oldest son and be able to respond in the manner he needed.  It is how I know from day to day if I'm doing things right and where I need to improve.  It is how we knew homeschooling would be right for us and how to do it.  It is the source of peace that I rely so heavily on.   

Wow Moment

Today when we started kidschool the kids went to choose books that they were going to read aloud.  Logan chose a "We Both Read" book.  Annie objected because that was one of 'her' books.  We have a rule that Logan isn't allowed to read 'her' books (the ones we check out specifically to work on her reading) before she does, simply because she'll listen to him and memorize the words.  Thankfully, Logan was ready with a very appropriate compromise in this situation.  He recognized that he could read the parent part while Annie still read the child part.  (This was probably his original plan anyway.)  That satisfied her and we sat down for what I expected to be a very normal reading time.  Much to my delight, however, Logan took over working with Annie today!  He helped her sound out each and every word EXACTLY how I would have done it (maybe better) for half an hour (afterwards she was so inspired that she wanted to read two more books).  I LOVED it!  I don't think there are many things better than watching that kind of love from a big brother to a little sister.

Autumn

I LOVE the beauty of autumn, especially here.  The trees are gorgeous and I love to drive around enjoying them.  We had a showing last week, so the kids and I did just that while we had to be out of the house.  Plus we made it a field trip to the arboretum to collect leaves.

 

I attempted some pictures on this cloudy day, but they certainly don't do justice to the vibrant colors everywhere.

The kids and the dog enjoyed running around collecting colorful leaves (even if it was fairly cold outside).

The sun started to come out as we were heading home, so I attempted a few more pictures.

I LOVE that this kind of drive is so close to home!

Call Me Super Mom

Today has been one of those unusual-super-fantastic-motivated-energetic kind of days.  I've been lacking in those a lot lately (for legitimate reason).  Today I:

-Read with and to the kids
-Had school with the kids
-Vacuumed
-Mopped
-Scrubbed
-Polished
-Washed Laundry
-Bathed the dog

And it's only 3:27!  I even know what we're having for dinner.  You should have seen the horror our house was last night.  Actually, I wouldn't want anyone to see that.  Jim didn't even argue when I said it was the dirtiest our home has EVER been.  Bad.  Bad.  Bad.  Now it looks good, good, good, and I gave the kids my undivided attention despite the housework!  So I feel like Super Mom today.  (It's too bad we probably won't see her again for several months.)  Now to decide if I'll use my (much earned) downtime to catch up blogs or start a new book.  Hmm...

What A Day Looks Like

Every so often I get the urge to share what one of our days looks like, but I've never done it.  People often ask me how we do school, and I have a hard time explaining it without sounding too obscure.  It is especially difficult to explain since we aren't traditional with textbooks and required work.  The best way to explain is to have someone read the introductory TJEd book, but I know most of the time the person is expressing too casual of an interest to delve that deep.  This won't explain TJEd (I unsuccessfully tried that in some of my earliest posts.), but rather will show what TJEd looks like in our home right now.  Perhaps this will be enlightening.  If not, I've been wanting to do this anyway.  :)

Our days vary from good to bad depending on how much of my undivided attention I give my kids.  I've found that to be the only thing I need to measure to know how well school is going.  As a result, school days are generally very peaceful and contenting for us, and that spreads into the rest of our family life.  I unfortunately have days where my attention gets set aside for one reason or other, and those are the days that life doesn't feel quite so peaceful. 

Anyway, each day is different because we don't follow a routine.  I love that flexibility.  Certain things happen daily, but not necessarily at the same time or in the same order.

 Today was a pretty normal day.  We started the day at 8am when the kids woke up.  (We don't have a very early bedtime because it allows us to have more family time with Jim in the evenings since he gets home late.)  I'd been awake for about 30min. and was working on having an alert brain.  The kids ate breakfast while I had some personal scripture/ journal time.  Ideally, I would have done this before they woke up, but that doesn't always happen, especially during certain seasons of life.  They understand this time is important to assure they have a good mom for the day, so they left me alone.  :)

After they were done eating and I was done reading (8:30ish?) they hopped on my bed and we had an impromptu cuddle time.  This is one of my favorite things about homeschooling.  Because we're rarely in a hurry, we have lots of morning cuddle time.  (I often relish the fact that I don't have to rush my kids out the door every morning.)  We get to start the day loving each other.  This a time that we have some of our best talks, and often it turns into a reading time.  I love this chance to look into their eyes and hear whatever is on their minds.  Today Annie had me nose to nose and rubbing her back.  Then we got to planning what they want to do next week when my brother visits.  We don't necessarily do this every day, but it isn't unusual. 

I think we decided to get off the bed and get dressed/ cleaned up around 9:30.  This is a good example of something that happens every day (unless the kids have permission for a pajama day), but not necessarily at the same time or in a particular order.  I wasn't feeling particularly inclined toward housework or laundry today, so we didn't have any family work time.  Often we'll do some family work in the morning for a short time.

After everyone was fresh, we sat down to officially have school time.  The part that is planned for school time is the time itself, not the content.  I generally try to have it for a couple of hours before lunch, and possibly some time after lunch.  Depending on life, we sometimes start after lunch, though.  We opened with a song and prayer.  Then we had some reading time.  Logan read to us first from an interesting science book he brought home from the library (that is way over his head in some ways) which prompted their curiosity.  So we had some good discussions.  Then he read us a story book, and finally he and Annie read a book together.

They were ready to move onto something else at that point so we moved to the kitchen table for some math.  I was feeling nice, so math involved candy today (Nerds Logan received for his birthday).  The candy definitely isn't regular (especially before lunch!), but it's a good example of how we manipulate things to learn.  We don't use textbooks at this point, and probably won't ever use workbooks.  We've been learning math from every day life to this point.  (This is one subject I will likely use a textbook for in the future, though.)  For example, Logan accidentally learned to multiply because his sister couldn't count high enough to complete her chores.  She would earn a chore to pick up 30 items, but since she couldn't count that high yet, I would tell her to pick up three 10's.  He picked up on the concept of multiplication as a result (and she learned to count as well).  He learned to add multiple digits because he wanted to pay his tithing, etc.  They bring a notebook to the store sometimes, and add up the cost of our groceries.  

Today we used the Nerds to practice addition, subtraction, and multiplication. 

 

Alex always includes himself in what we're doing which is wonderful (and challenging at times).  When he can't be in the middle of what we're doing, I often allow him to choose something from the school closet to occupy himself.  (I have an explanation of the school closet at the very bottom of this post.)  Today he attempted to sort his Nerds like they were doing before he decided to simply eat them.  He wasn't at all in the way today.

It was past noon when they were done with their math, so we started making lunch.  While I was preparing it Logan says, "Math was awesome!  Easy peasy!"  He feels good when he solves problems.

After lunch, we had an important errand to run, so we skipped the time I normally read aloud to the kids.  We are constantly listening to CD books in the car, so they had some listening time while we were running our errand.  It's always hard to stop the car when we arrive at our destination or home because we're so interested in the book we are listening to.  :)  Reading aloud to the kids is a huge part of what I do almost every day.  That's when we explore anything interesting and the kids make connections in their minds.  This time will often prompt a project for the next day.  This was skipped today, but yesterday we spent that time reading about science marvels and mysteries (which prompted Logan's reading about it this morning).

Upon arriving home (2:30?), I needed to attend to adult business, so the kids had time to do whatever they wanted.  I took this picture yesterday, but it's a good example of what I find them doing in their down time.  Logan was reading picture scriptures to his brother and sister yesterday.  Today they were huddled together drawing and writing.  Logan was writing a book about some birds he drew, Annie was writing random numbers and letters, and Alex was scribbling.  They moved on to drawing flowers, and I now have a dozen gifted pictures sitting next to me.  Just now Logan brought me the seed of a grape and asked if we could plant it.  He'd moved onto a snack, and became curious.

Our evening hasn't happened yet, but I'll describe our evenings a little bit because they play into our home education.  During afternoon downtime, Alex usually takes a nap, while Annie and Logan play outside, downstairs, or occupy themselves quietly on the main floor.  I'm convinced they do a lot of their learning during this time since they love to role play, build, and look at books.  Often I let them use the school closet during this time.

Shortly before dinner we usually have some family work time.  This is when the kids and I straighten the house if it needs it.  They've become really good helpers because we've been consistent with their responsibilities in this area recently. 

Dinner time happens roughly when Jim arrives home (6 or 6:30) and then we hold tight to our family time as many evenings a week as possible.  This time often involves reading aloud as a family, not story books, but long books of interest to us all.  When we aren't reading, we're usually just being together doing nothing in particular, or working on individual projects in the same room.  We talk, the kids play and talk, and sometimes family work happens in the evenings as needed.  Since we don't have a tv, and we average watching a movie anywhere from once a week to once a month, this isn't a distraction most evenings.  I can't deny that the computer is a distraction more often than it should be for Jim and I, but we do try to minimize that because we want to have good family time.

Bedtime happens anywhere between 8:30 and 9:30, hence we don't wake extremely early, but it's worth it for the extra family time we have. 

So that's a day in the life of this TJEd family.  I don't know if this was worth reading, but I wanted it on our record anyhow. 

Since I mentioned it above, here's an explanation of our school closet.  It really is a great thing for our family.  The closet contains lots of art supplies, some kid games, puzzles, clay, educational materials, and other miscellaneous 'fun but messy' or educational/ special toys/ supplies.  The shelves are arranged such that paints, scissors, glue, and anything else that needs adult supervision is on the very top, with the bottom being the most toddler friendly items.  The closet is off limits 100% of the time without permission.  I actually have it tied closed, so that Alex cannot open it, and the other two are reminded to ask if they want to open it.  This is advantageous for several reasons.  1. They can't make a mess with certain items, or at least they are WAY less tempted too.  'Out of sight, out of mind' really works!  We have yet for the kids to get into the top shelf items without permission.  2. Everything in the closet is viewed as 'special'.  3. When I need inspiration or ideas for school time, I can open the closet and find a good idea.  4. When I need something special to occupy them (i.e. when they have a babysitter, or I'm not feeling good) it's there and ready.  5. They view all of our 'educational' materials/ toys as extra desirable so they are thrilled to use them.

We are in and out of the closet a lot during school time most days, and Annie and Logan often have permission to use the lower shelves during Alex's nap.  The closet is where I turn when I need to occupy Alex during school time, and then he feels like he's having his own special school time.