Motherhood is HARD

I have been a stressed out momma lately and I've desperately wanted a break.  So last weekend, Jim and I left the kids with his parents and headed to Omaha for a little vacation.  It was wonderful and inspiring.  We attended an education conference during which we heard Nicholeen Peck speak.  Afterwards we participated in a session in the Winter Quarters Temple.  On Sunday we went to church and enjoyed the opportunity to listen to Nicholeen once more at an evening fireside.  On Monday we had some fun before heading home, and on Tuesday I was home without the kids for one final day. 

It was so EASY.  I didn't have little people arguing with me, screaming, or destroying my house for FOUR whole days.  I didn't have to cook or clean.  It was QUIET.  I could go somewhere at the drop of a hat, and accurately predict how much time I needed to get ready in the morning (which was surprisingly little).  Getting in the car took no time at all.  Bedtime was a breeze!  BUT, I missed my kids like crazy.  When a family with four kids sat next to us during church, and their little boy had to be taken out of the meeting repeatedly, I wanted my bunch.  I probably would have had to escape to the mother's lounge with a fussy baby as usual, but nevertheless, I wanted them.  When we listened to Nicholeen speak and inspire us about parenting, I wanted to rush home and be a better mother.  When we watched Mom's Night Out in the theatre, I cried and laughed to the point Jim was concerned; I intensely felt all of that 'mom stress', yet I couldn't wait to get back to my own family chaos.  On Tuesday I was amazed at how quiet our home was and how productive I could be without being pulled in twenty directions, but it was TOO quiet.

I rejoiced to have my kiddos back on Wednesday and we promptly went back to normal.  Last night I had my sleep interrupted for a bed wetting accident and then a teething baby.  Today I had cookie dough ingredients flung in a 5 foot radius all over my kitchen because someone turned the mixer on high and later tortilla chips purposely stomped on all over the rug.  I've cleaned vomit and had a half dressed four year old running around outside.  I've had the Frozen soundtrack blaring through the house while one child sang along at the top of her lungs, one child ran through the house making airplane noises, and another somehow did both.  I've been argued with, cried at, climbed on, jumped on, and whined at.  I've played referee and been interrupted dozens of times.  This motherhood thing is HARD.  It's EXHAUSTING.  It's pull-my-hair-out-can't-think-straight-crazy.  AND I LOVE IT.

Why?  Why did I intensely miss my kids during our wonderful get-a-way?  Why would I rather wrestle four kids through church than sit quietly and be able to listen?  Why am I happy today and can call this a good day?  It's because I am serving my FAMILY.  It's because families are the place we grow the most.  Families are the heaven on earth, tantrums and all.  There is nothing more important than the work I do within my own family, and there is nothing more exalting.  In families we come close to God.  In families we come to understand His love for us and how to love as He does.  My love grows as I serve my family members: sacrificing my sleep for their needs, cleaning our home, being calm through the tantrums and arguments, teaching and nurturing children, etc.  It IS a lot of work.  It is very difficult at times, but I wouldn't trade these little people for the world.

Many are the blessings (payoffs?) of motherhood: the snuggles, seeing the light in a child's eyes, watching a happy discovery, fun moments together, the smiles and giggles, the joy that comes from witnessing a good choice, the innocence and unrestrained love, etc.  Often these are the things that get me through the day.  I think the biggest blessing, though, is how I am allowed to grow.  Nothing stretches me like taking care of these kids.  Nothing else requires so much service.  It's in the most difficult moments that I'm learning to love the most, and getting through those moments are what refines my character and brings the most peace. 

I love a song the children are learning in Primary this year.  It's called The Family Is Of God, and I particularly love the third verse and chorus:

"A mother's purpose is to care, prepare, to nurture and to strengthen all her children.  
She teaches children to obey, to pray, to love and serve in the family.
God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be.
This is how He shares His love, for the family is of God."

It's true!  It's oh so true!