The Six Month "No"

We live in a very fast paced world with endless options.  There are things we have to do, things we think we have to do, things we want to do, and things that we do without much reason.  It's easy to fill our time. 

I grew up in this world and am a product of it.  Up until a couple of years ago I kept myself super busy all the time.  As a youth, I filled my days with activities so that I was rarely home, even on the weekends.  As a young adult I had little spare time, and as a young mother I kept myself and my babies hopping.  

Then about two years ago we unintentionally cleared our schedule.  Initially it was the result of a move outside of town where most things just needed to be dropped.  Then just a couple of months later I found our schedule 100% cleared because we'd moved to another part of the country.  We were in a place where we didn't know anybody yet, we didn't have callings yet, and we had no extra commitments.  A couple of months later I started recognizing how nice it was to have so little on our schedule.

In one of my TJEd books, the DeMille family (who developed TJEd) share several 'ingredients' that have benefitted their family.  These aren't the things that make TJEd, but rather an idea list of things that have been helpful to them on their journey.  We've adopted some of their ideas, and others haven't concerned ourselves with.  It has been a helpful list. 

One of their 'ingredients' is The Six Month "No".  In this little section they explain how every six months their family crosses things off of their schedule.  This allows them to make time for priorities, and especially allows the mother to be a better spouse, parent, and mentor. 

I'd read about this before we unintentionally did it, and thought it sounded like a good idea, but really didn't recognize how wonderful it would be.  I suppose it was one of those things that I had to experience in order to appreciate.  Over the last two years I've come to relish this little ingredient.  We don't do it on a six month schedule necessarily, but have become more constantly aware of how our time is being used, and throw things out as we find the need. 

I ask myself a few questions:  Do our days or evenings feel stressed?  Am I finding time to enjoy my children?  How much quality time are we having as a family?  Do I regularly have time for priorities?The answers to these questions are my guide.

Our most recent "no" led me to cancel my YMCA membership.  I'd had a Y membership for three years, and loved getting the exercise, but was finding that it was using too much morning time.  I still needed my workouts, so we bought an elliptical machine for our basement.  My workout time remained the same, but I gained about an hour (more sometimes) each day owing to the fact that I no longer had to spend any time driving, and I didn't have to get anyone dressed and fed before I could think about working out.  Now the kids can leisurely eat and dress while I exercise.  Another big gain with this change (and my favorite) was our morning snuggle time.  We can snuggle for an hour or two, I can exercise, and we can all take our time getting dressed, and we'll still be ready for kidschool earlier than when I was going to the Y!  Yeah!  The last gain from this change is that I stopped feeling rushed during certain hours of the morning.

We still have things on our schedule.  We both have church callings that take up time every week.  I teach piano lessons one night a week.  We have appointments for various things, and we occasionally schedule extra activities for our children.  Most often this is plenty!

Lately our easy schedule has been a blessing on the days that I haven't felt well. I've woken up sick a lot of mornings and thought, "Oh good. We don't have to go anywhere today," and then spent most of the day in pajamas cuddling and reading to my kids.

I've been pondering a lot about what a blessing keeping our schedule relatively clear has been.  Today, for example, I reaped the benefits.  We didn't have to go anywhere and I was feeling unusually well (considering I'm pregnant).  As a result, I had time and energy to do several 'extra' things today (like blog posting) in addition to great kidschool time, being a mother, and caring for our home.  The best part is that our whole day was easy paced (this is very different that lazy), no stress, and I thoroughly enjoyed being with my children.  I'm looking forward to a slow evening.

A lot of our days are like this and I love it.  I very clearly remember what it was like to be fast paced and super scheduled all the time.  I wasn't unhappy at all, but I realize now how much more I enjoy life at a slower pace.  I can honestly say that happy as I was (for I've always been a rather happy individual) I am even happier now and this has contributed. 

I am enjoying my family so much because I have the time to sit back and enjoy them.  The kids and I very rarely rush through daily tasks anymore because we don't have too.  I am a better wife and mother when I'm not rushed and crazy exhausted from running all day.  I can see my priorities better and make time for them.  I can accept opportunities to serve with gladness even more.  I can have an unexpected visit with a friend without taking away from the time my family needs me and the things we need to accomplish.  The best part, though, is the time with my family.  These children are growing up so fast, and I am relishing my hours with them every day.