A Tribute to Mom and Dad

I've been pondering a lot more than usual on a lot of subjects.  I don't know what's gotten into me, but it must be something good;  at least it's been good for me.  :)  Anyway, I've been thinking about my parents a lot lately and have been wanting to write this for a while now. 

I love this joke because there is so much truth in it; at age 30 I'm finding myself seeking their knowledge more and more.

4 Years Of Age - My parents can do anything.
8 Years Of Age - My parents know a lot.
12 Years Of Age - My parents don't really know quite everything.
14 Years Of Age - Naturally, my parents don't know that, either.
16 Years Of Age - My parents? They're hopelessly old-fashioned.
18 Years Of Age - Those old people? They're way out of date.
25 Years Of Age - Well, they might know a little bit about it.
35 Years Of Age - Before we decide, let's get Mom's and Dad's opinion.
45 Years Of Age - Wonder what Mom and Dad would have thought about it.
65 Years Of Age - Wish I could talk it over with Mom and Dad.

I went to bed last night thinking about how much like my mom I am, and then I starting pondering on the ways I'm like my dad.  I'm realizing that they taught me a lot more than I realize, and that my character was developed in a lot of ways through their examples.  It's taken adulthood to begin to realize and appreciate this. 

First I'll start with my dad.  When I was a little girl I remember having absolute faith in his ability to protect me from anything.  He was a super hero in my eyes.  I couldn't wait to be an infallible and all knowing adult like him.  (It's too bad that dream didn't come true.)  He must have been gentle with me and that's why I felt so safe.      

He has always been a hard worker, and expected no less from us.  While I know I whined and complained about having to work as a child, he nevertheless taught me to work hard.  I think he did it right, too, because I didn't come away resenting it.  Though unconscious it had anything to do with my parents, I always put my all into school work, sports practice, and employment.  Then as a wife, mother, and homemaker I expected myself to put everything into those roles.  I can't accept laziness from myself, and I feel really guilty when I am lazy. 

My dad is very kind to people he meets.  I hadn't realized this until I really thought about it, but I honestly have a hard time imagining him being unkind to a stranger, neighbor, or friend.  When we were growing up he always fostered friendships with other families.  Our family is still great friends with some of these families.  He has a very friendly personality.  I used to run into people all the time that knew my dad someway or other.  It honestly astounded me how often it happened.  I used to joke that everyone in town knew him.  People have always liked him.

I remember my dad being willing to help others a lot.  I recall many times he assisted elderly neighbors, one in particular.  He placed a high emphasis on maintaining family relationships.  His grandparents (my great-grandparents) lived in the same city and we would visit them once a week.  He frequently helped them with things they needed. 

My dad is really fun.  As children, he always coached our sports teams, and he taught us to ski.  He planned fun vacations every year; these vacations are some of my favorite memories.  He took us on family outings.  He and my mom gave us opportunities to try a lot of different things.  There are so many activities I enjoy as an adult because I had the opportunity to try them as a child.

Most importantly my dad loves me.  He's sought to help me make important decisions, and encouraged me on my path in life.  At one point, he prevented me from marrying the wrong person.  I have been ever grateful he had that inspiration.  He praises me and lets me know he's happy with the choices I am making.  His praise makes me feel good, and motivates me.

He and my mom took us to church every Sunday, and stressed the importance of attending seminary when we were in high school.  That has literally directed my every day life.  If I could say there was one thing my parents did that was best for me, this would be it.  I am so grateful my parents gave me the opportunity to learn the gospel.

I'm not sure who this comes from, so probably both of my parents, but I was raised knowing how to forgive.  It's been a shock to me in my adulthood to encounter grudges.  I don't know how because I have no examples, but I suspect the blessing of being able to forgive came from my parents.  It seems to be an attitude in our family overall.  We try to keep peace and kindness in our relationships with each other, even though we are so very different in some ways.  We have plenty of opportunities to clash, but most are averted because everyone wants to get along and love each other.       

I know that I'm a lot like my mom.  We even look alike.  When a family member comments that I do something just the way Mom did, I usually take it as a compliment.    

My mom is an organized person, and I know I get that from her.  She tries to be prepared for everything; that's yet another quality I've taken with me.   She's a bit of a perfectionist and quite stubborn and determined; these describe me to a tee.  I didn't realize she was stubborn for a long time, because she does it in a quiet way; I'm loud about it.  :)  She's a go-getter.  Both of my parents are actually.  I have no doubt I get that from them.  She, too, works hard in all that she does.  I'm grateful for the way this example shaped me.

My mom is very likeable.  She is someone that people enjoy being around.  She's friendly and fun to talk to.  As a teenager, my friends loved being around her.  I hope I can be as likeable as she is.  I like to think that I've been able to enjoy good friendships in part because my parents taught me how to nurture those relationships.  I hope I'm a good friend.  She's also quite funny.  I can't explain exactly how because she doesn't really crack jokes, but there is always a lot of laughter when we're with her. 

One of the most distinct impressions I have of my mom when I was young is that she was patient.  She does not yell, and on the rare occasion she tries it's not much louder than her speaking voice.  I wish I'd inherited this from her, but I like to think that this has helped curb my temper.  It does give me something to strive for.  Patience is my biggest struggle. 

I do know that she was a very loving and gentle mother.  I know that is part of my God given nature as one of His daughters, but I believe the ability to nurture my children was helped by her example.  I've always known that I was very important to her, and that has prevented me entering motherhood with a selfish attitude.    

My mom is very thoughtful.  She's always tried to remember birthdays and give some token of her love.  In fact, she was so worried about forgetting Jim's birthday this year that she starting asking me a month and a half ahead of time when it was and what she could do for him.  :)  She puts a lot of care into the things she does for others and seeks to lift them.  I love to serve, really love it.  Perhaps this is another way my parents shaped me.

She really strives to nurture relationships.  This is probably one reason I'm so close with her.  I'm sure I'm not as good about this as she is.  She sends me text messages and e-mails almost on a daily basis.  She even sends Jim text messages a lot!  He has no doubt she loves him too.  She would give her left arm if it meant she could help her children more.  I talk to her often, and I've been finding myself asking about her experiences as a mother a lot lately.  She does and says things a lot that let me know we are ever in her mind. 

I've been aware of personal struggles she's had for as long as I can remember.  I recall being very aware of these when I was a teenager especially.  Yet, I didn't consciously realize until recently that she still put her best foot forward when she was feeling down.  She was cheerful and had fun with us, and she put energy into everything she did.  That must have been so hard for her at times.  I don't know if she'd call herself an optimist, but the way she's reacted to life has been optimistic.  She's never given up.  She always had positive words for us, strove to take care of our family, and put her whole heart into her church callings.  She always had time and love for me, and I've always loved being around her, even when I had a teenage attitude.  I'd say my mom looks for the joy in daily life.  I know I'm quite the optimist, and I'm sure I get this in part from her example.

I really am grateful for the love and care my parents put into raising me.  I hope I've taken with me their good qualities.  I have no doubt they've influenced who I've become.