Friday, August 17, 2012

A Ramble

The other night I was sidetracked from going to bed because I started looking at posts from the very beginning of our family blog.  It's amazing how quickly my kids have grown and changed, and how much I've learned in six years of parenting.  I went to bed thinking about their development and mine, and woke up with it on my mind yesterday.  I had all the positive things on my mind and it made me so grateful for these little people and the chance to rear them. 

My first thought was about priorities.  I was impressed to see how clean and well groomed my children looked when the oldest were toddlers.  They even looked stylish sometimes!  I used to bathe them daily and keep our home spotless 100% of the time.  Then I thought about how my current toddler generally looks and the dishes that I left overnight.  Hmm...that priority has definitely changed!  That's fine, though.  I think I was doing okay then, and I think I'm still doing okay now.  'Okay' has simply changed its job description to include a two year old with a dirty shirt and wild hair.

Another thing I was thinking about is how my children play.  I've received comments over the years about how well my children entertain themselves.  I take it for granted a lot of the time and I never worry about giving them enough to do or entertaining them myself.  I don't have to send my kids outside to play; they request it every day and stay out until I call them in.  They don't generally make me crazy indoors, and when they do they are pretty compliant about playing in a different room.  I have yet to have a child tell me 'I'm bored'.  I'm certain this is a result of our decision to have very limited media in our home.  It's so neat to see the positive fruit of that decision!  I love seeing the energy and enthusiasm my children have for everything they do. 

Something else I considered was how much my kids love being together.  Logan and Annie really are best friends, and they usually include each other when they are with other friends.  Most of the time Alex is part of that too.  They squabble plenty, but I'm so glad they have such loving relationships with each other. 

I'm pleased with my children in general, and that helps when I worry about my parenting.  I remember when Logan was a toddler, I was so afraid to have a school age child because I had no idea how to parent one, let alone teach one.  I knew we were going to homeschool, but was so intimidated by the thought of doing it.  I just went forward with faith that I'd know what to do when the time came.  I'm so glad I can take life one day at a time!  Anyway, I really am very pleased with my children. 

Logan is such a mature kid in such a tiny body!  I believe he has a personal testimony of the gospel already, and he has a great desire to do what is right.  He's polite to people outside of our family (working on that in the home), and is usually very willing to help as part of the family.  He does most of the cleaning up around our house right now, and he is very nurturing of his siblings.  He is an enormous help to me.

Annie has suddenly matured in a way I can't quite put my finger on.  She has started consciously making good decisions and talking about living the gospel.  She's my child who has seemed to lack a conscience many many times, so this is thrilling!  She's very concerned about dressing modestly which is funny because she has a bad habit of pulling her shirt up over her face.  Her appearance lately has changed somehow.  She just looks older!  She's always been super rebellious about following instructions, but recently has been the first one to jump up to obey.  She is very good at accepting 'no' answers which makes everyones life a lot happier.     

I don't have as much to say about Alex except that I love the age he's at.  Two year olds are SO MUCH FUN.  He's such an innocent little stinker.  Every so often I see a hint that he wants to be good, like when he folds his arms for prayers.  I can tell he loves me because he manages to climb onto my lap anytime I'm sitting down.  He's often at my legs when I'm not.  He's been my baby longer than the others ever had a chance to be, and I relish holding him.  I simply love hearing his speech development and his humor.  He's just a joy.

I was also thinking about my own development as a mother.  My priorities about well groomed children have certainly changed, but lots of other things have too.  I guess I feel like I'm getting a bigger picture and that helps me realize when I can relax about some things so I have energy for the more important things.  Motherhood has felt like a great fit from the very start and I really feel the Lord continually shapes me for it.  I'm so grateful for that.  I'm so grateful for these wonderful feelings I have about my children and being a mother.  There is nothing better.

We officially started school again yesterday (meaning that we'll have more school days than break days now vs. having the opposite all summer).  It's interesting to see how my vision of what homeschooling would be like 4+ years ago is so different than what it really is now.  Young as they are yet, I never dreamed my kids would be begging to have school time and more of it when we finish for the day!  I envisioned a daily battle, lesson plans, and structure structure structure.  There were good things I envisioned too, like field trips and excited curiosity.  I'm thankful we have those good things.  I never imagined the way we do school though.  I know I say this a lot, but I so enjoy seeing my children learn.  It's amazing what their minds can do and how eager they are to understand.  I'm constantly impressed with how quickly they learn and how happy I am when I'm involved in that process. 

   

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